Expat Philosophy on Stress and Easily Manage It
Don’t let your growth and confidence grind to a halt. Explore how American Expat Mike T. Kelly cures bouts of stress while overseas.
In this article, expect to quickly dissolve paralytic stress through both mental and physical exercises.
Stress is the joy-killer—the peace-of-mind murderer.
No one is having fun while you’re trying to withdraw foreign currency from another foreign bank so you can buy shoes for your very bare and blistered feet all the while your international data cuts out.
Stress is the squirming alien ready to burst out of your chest. It’s the ever churning and bubbling hot tar in the pool of your soul. Stress is a bitch, but there is a way to cool and calm such unsavory feelings—even in the worst of times!
How does a busy American expat expel stress when surrounded by a shit-storm of uncertainty and doubt?
Busy body or hot nurse? Click here to go right to the conclusion.
My solution is more affirming and technical than others—and it works for all occasions (family, dating, travel and yes, even pre-exam time).
The method to quell either spikes in stress or long-term bouts of it comes just in time, as individuals are growing more anxious than previous years and less certain about their ability to handle it (look it up!).
Such lack of faith in our ability to take on stress comes from one’s disconnect from themselves. There is no self-assuredness.
Intuitional Weathering—The Micro Phenomenon:
It may sound silly, but a lack of self-exploration isn’t common anymore.
Failing to do so doesn’t carve out the most potential in a character nor sense of self-reliance. Intuitions and confidence lay in the dark in unexplored corner while your overdraft fees build up. Not to mention time is wasted while always falling for the wrong partners.
This Intuitional Weathering is a degradation of our self-transparency—and it’s hiding the best parts of you from yourself. My insights on reading (too much philosophy) and living overseas offers solutions to actualize the self and live with stability, assuredness, and intellectual security.
Overcoming Intuitional Weathering runs parallel to overcoming stress. So, let’s get into it.
Stress and You:
Technically, stress is both physical and psychological.
It’s the unpleasant arousal from fear, pain, uncertainty, conflict, toxins and frustrations. It’s a complicated process involving hormones, the Pituitary Arenal Axis, and neurotransmitters. What you need to know is stress increases anxiety while lowering behavior in locomotor activity (skipping, running, jumping, dancing, sports, sex—i.e. all the fun things).
Stress halts productivity, normal memory function, screws with your immune system, and deregulates your metabolic rate. But most importantly, it makes you feel like shit about yourself.
Philosophically, stress is the seizing of emotional and internal clarity. It’s the rust that breaks down cogs working so hard to achieve your life’s mission. Too much stress in this machine sews doubt, blame, and a major lack of self-belief into your attitude.
What Do You Really Have to Stress About?
Quite a f*cking lot, actually.
We stress about our:
- Civil liberties & rights
- Personal finances (or lack there of)
- Climate change
- Violence & crime
- Job security
- Making sure your mother’s birthday flowers get to the right address on time…
And believe me, I cut the list short.
27% of American adults said they’ve been so stressed, they couldn’t function normally. 34% of these 27% say it happens every day (APA, 2022).
Now that I have most likely given you more stress than before you started this article, it’s time to figure out what the f*ck to do about it.
But first, you need to understand you don’t have an option whether to overcome stress or not.
You either melt in a hot puddle or harden like the Terminator in T2 and kill your John Connor. You don’t have a choice. There’s only one real option.
Overcoming Stress, Anxiety and Uncertainty:
Stress is multifaceted. So is its remedy.
Since stress is the seizing of your autonomy and positive attitude, you need to reactivate these things.
I won’t tell you to stay away from stressful jobs or uncomfortable conditions because I know these things can be great for you. You’re a capable adult. You know what’s good for you and what’s demoralizing painful.
Solution #1—Disrupt Negative Thinking
Okay, this part is actually quite easy.
Stress creates doubt. The stress gets worse the more you doubt. It’s a bitch of a cyclical process. So, stop its process.
Kill the negative thinking NOT by pretending it’s not there (people love this “solution” for some reason), but by acknowledging it with faith.
Don’t give it a sermon but use your strongest sense of faith or sense of self-belief to slash through the cycle.
If you frequent my articles (I know at least one of you is out there), I fall back to the most fool-proof concept I’ve read about—Amor Fati.
Amor Fati is the enthusiastic and even masochistic infatuation with your future. It’s finding gratification in even the most stressful of times because these moments of stress still help you achieve your next big thing.
I know in even the most f*cked moments, I will get through the next one much easier. It’s just enough catharsis to obtain certainty, kill the doubt, and do what needs to get done.
Whatever you do, disrupt negative thought patterns.
“Amor Fati – ‘love your fate’, which is in fact your life.”
— Friedrich Nietzsche
Solution #2—Do Something Unexpected
This solution is usually a preventative more than an antidote. But it also works in high-stress moments.
Doing something unexpected diverts your attention from negative thinking and trains your mind to handle uncertainty better.
Not to mention, playing the merry and unpredictable prankster frees your mind from the mental deadlock of stress.
Want another strange suggestion? If caught in a high-stress moment, swear.
I mean it.
Swear a lot and make yourself laugh. Swearing nonsense words in a humorous manner dissolves much of the symptoms to stress, giving you more headspace to operate and lightening your existential load.
This method is taught in my Breakup Recovery eCourse and has done wonders for its listeners. Prove me wrong that it doesn’t work and tweet about it.
Solution #3—Take Control Where You Can
Doubt loves it when you stand still.
You prove it right when you do nothing, so take control of what you can to get a little momentum and a tick of confidence. It seems silly, but even making your bed in the morning does enough to get you working on the next task.
If stressed out of your gourd, do a small task you have complete control over. Clean your nasty kitchen sink, trim that unibrow, or sweep all those dead ants off your floor.
The point is to do the easiest task first, then move up from there until you’re ready to tackle the big tasks that cause you the most stress.
Solution #4—Defensive Meditation
Defensive Meditation is actively keeping your attention inward towards your body and breadth.
12-minutes of breath control (not the kinky kind) really makes the difference.
Focus on the controlled expansion and contraction of your lungs while keeping your body still is often enough to disrupt paralysis.
In through the nose…out through the mouth…
Stress tells you more than you think. Want to know how it will make you successful?
With this free eCourse, you’ll be starting on your creative future right now.
Solution #5—Offensive Meditation
In opposite to Defensive Meditation is Offensive Meditation.
Offensive Meditation is the expulsion of energy to disrupt paralytic stress or hype yourself up for high performance. It’s best done when sadistically savoring the chaotic conditions of your stress or feeling angry about it.
Perform my coined Moment of Motivation or go shed some sweat. Calisthenics is a great place to start.
Expelling energy will exhaust pent-up energy usually causing internal tension. Masturbation for both men and women is a fine solution here, too.
Final Solution—Don't Look for a Rescuer
Assume you’re alone in your shitty endeavor and your most courageous self will get you out of this mess.
Maybe this is too harsh for some, but after all the travel hiccups, breakups, and scary “trips” I’ve endured, I learned no matter what stressful situation you’re in, you’ll always have at least yourself to accompany you.
Plus, there’s nothing wrong with cultivating that friendship and assured self-dependability. This is perhaps the #1 thing I see study abroad students lack.
Dig deep into your heart and know that even if everything is stripped from you—house, pets, finances, car, organs—you’re still going to get through it bila shaka (without a doubt).
The Result?
Honestly, it’s like bucking off a heavy opponent in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and then taking a dose of fast-acting ecstasy.
Since I’ve used these exact methods, my bouts of stress are far and few between. Not to mention when they do flair up like your grandmother’s herpes, it’s easier to take control, calm down, and focus on climbing to your Mt. Olympus.
- I’m able to land airplanes in 15-kt crosswinds without panicking
- It’s easier to improvise speeches in front of 150+ nationals
- Reaction time and focus is significantly increased during high speed moto-riding or extreme sports
Overcoming stress is a Meta-Skill—a skill that enhances all other skills. Prioritize Meta-Skills and you’ve made your path to true success that much shorter.
My Coffeehouse Wager to You:
Here is your Coffeehouse Wager:
Fight the stress when it starts crawling around in your chest. Don’t ignore its presence. Instead, try any of the above-mentioned solutions to quiet it down.
Surprise yourself and watch these solutions allow you to handle your condition with more ease and assuredness. It starts with killing the negative thought-loop. Disrupt that, and you’ve disrupted the disruption.
Your Concise Conclusion:
Stress is the most effective seizing of your autonomy and peace-of-mind.
Brushing it off and using it to wipe your ass is both a physical and mental process. There are two great types of meditation tactics (Defensive and Offensive) and even more physical solutions.
Defensive Meditation is focusing your attention on stillness and breath, making attempts to control them both. Offensive Meditation is the expulsion of pent-up energy used to relieve stress or hype you up to an advantaged mindset.
The number one thing you need to do when harboring stress—disrupt negative thinking and control what you can. From there, life gets a lot easier.
I’ve enjoyed this one and I hope you did, too. ‘Till next time.
Ta-ta,
MTK
Reach out on IG (@that.expat.philosophy) because I want to hear from you! What do you disagree or agree with? What should I write about next? Speak your truth and be curious!
Mike T. Kelly
Editor of Prosperity
Ex-structural engineer gone expat polyglot. Through his book, speaking events, published writings and online blog, he strives to influence millions to be their best selves while experiencing novelty overseas or at home. His desire for adventure travel is rivaled by his love for motorcycles, airplanes and family. Michael graduated from Gonzaga University with studies in civil engineering and philosophy. For his 29th birthday, he moved to Africa where he is experiencing his next transformative experience.
Stress & Managing It FAQ:
What are 5 Ways to Reduce Stress
Here at Prosperity, we prefer a more proactive approach to managing stress. You must disrupt negative thinking by offensive meditation, defensive meditation, do something unexpected, take control where you can, and don't look for a rescuer.
What is the Definition of Stress?
According to Expat Philosophy, stress is the seizing of your autonomy, assuredness, and peace-of-mind. Technically, stress is both physical and psychological. It’s the unpleasant arousal from fear, pain, uncertainty, conflict, toxins and frustrations.
What are 12 Ways to Overcome Stress?
There are more than 12 ways to overcome stress. Our favorite (and most effective) methods are offensive meditation, defensive meditation, doing something unexpected and humorous, taking control where you can, and not looking for a rescuer. Such activities include exercise, spontaneity, and physical sexual release.