How to Explore Your Shitty Shadow Personality to Attract Better People
Attracting higher quality personalities provides a richer life and sense of completeness. This cannot be done if you’re still dodging the most abhorrent parts of yourself.
In this article, expect to learn what your Shadow Personality is and how it can be integrated to mystify and attract high quality people.
Eight nights located 6° South of the equator is enough for you to see where your personal journey is heading if you maintain course.
I thought if I found myself getting licked by 85°F sea water while lying in the white sands of Zanzibar Island, I would be okay.
This isn’t always the case.
Busy body or hot nurse? Click here to go right to the conclusion.
Many people find themselves in paradise, yet they themselves aren’t there yet.
Paradise is a sense of completeness and self-knowledge. It’s too easy to fool ourselves, thinking we don’t harbor thoughts of cruelty nor malice within ourselves.
But sometimes our behavior surprises us and we lash out to others in opposite to our reputations and belief.
Such an outburst is ugly and comes from a deep shadowy place within us. Such a place is our unconscious vastness, which harbors many mysteries of our psyche, gifts and deep feeling.
Often, you are told to suppress any understanding of these outbursts and keep it in the dark.
I’m telling you differently.
I’ve seen what one can become when they explore and integrate their shadow work into their own life. This is best understood through what I call the “Olympian Concept.”
The Olympian Concept:
Let’s get real for a moment.
Everyone has a superior, vain depiction of themselves they consider better than anyone else. This little figure we fancy is our “Olympian Demigod.” It is the divine part of you demanding attention, exposure and power.
The main thing your Demigod wants is to feel validated for its greatness.
It is part of your personality, not a figure of your imagination.
It thinks it’s smarter than the average person, more capable than the average person and certainly more capable than the average person. Your Demigod wants to be praised for its achievement—whether a boss-queen of her firm or a model for men’s beach clothes.
In any case, your Demigod has a path to climb to reach this achievement. Its path is directly up… towards your version of Mt. Olympus.
Your Mt. Olympus is everything you’ve ever wanted for yourself.
Olympian Expectations:
What your Demigod expects to achieve is called your Olympian Expectation—and yes, they are massive expectations!
Olympian Expectations are just that—the highest point in which you can dream. It is your ideal income, quality of friends, opportunity, pleasure, comfort, attention, house, lifestyle, and family fortune.
It is also your source of creative outlet and practice of sexual prowess.
Your Demigod’s expectations are to reach Mt. Olympus with you.
The Path to Get There:
The path up towards your Olympian Expectations is long and great—full of cliffsides, winds, obstacles, monsters, and jagged rocks.
Reaching the top is all your Demigod wants. Once there, it can feel validated, exposed, and fulfilled.
The path soaked by the sun shows your Demigod all the hard work required to get to the top. But there’s a steep problem with our humanity.
Naturally, we humans have a terrible proclivity for shortcuts. This is why false concepts of Astrology, Alchemy and Manifestation have become popular.
During your climb, your Demigod only cares for validation. This single motive often causes a more immediate expression of validation and biological aggression.
You do something cruel or false that surprises even yourself. You act in the opposite to your reputation and often feel ashamed after the fact.
Such behavior could be the need to violently control others when you’re often easy going. It may be partaking in malicious gossip when you’re often trustworthy and kind.
For high achievers and those strongly motivated, you may abruptly fall short in expectations or disappear when things get dire, expecting the world to cater to your problems.
These characteristics are part of your Shadow Personality.
Your Nasty Little Shadow Personality:
Inside of you, you have a Shadow Personality—a subconscious part of you within yourself that desires respect and recognition for its greatness. Often, it is primitive and irrational, caustic and desperate.
It winds and weaves in social conditions, trying to appease addicting desires to fit in to social groups. It calls you to usurp others or belittle strangers around you.
This Shadow Personality compromises your integrity and honor.
But constant compromise to fit in leads to resentment, as you sacrifice authentic parts within yourself. You know these virtues deserve to be expressed more than anything—as you are a good person and recognize this.
Your Shadow Personality is not separate of your character but rather a large and hidden part of you. If this is too much to accept, then you’re lying to the best part of yourself while others are learning to control and integrate it into their art, love-life and internal potential.
What to Do When Your Shadow Personality Awakens:
I’ve seen it at parties in college, cards on the beach and moments before skydiving.
Your Shadow Personality takes hold during times of fear, indecision, and insecurity. You must control and integrate it into your everyday life, otherwise it will grow stronger the longer you ignore it.
“Anger as soon as fed is dead. ‘Tis starving makes it fat.”
— Emily Dickinson
People are attracted to the mysterious, joyous and colorful—not the mercurial and cruel.
Little do you know, your Shadow Personality is a messenger—a type of sentry that can tell you the secrets of your subconscious fears, gifts, and inclinations. Because of this, it should be explored before it lashes out at your friends and family.
You must learn to discover your Shadow Personality.
Because in the darkness, there is something we left behind as we became socialized adults.
You left your child-like playfulness and naturally-born talents. They reside in the corners of your character. Discovering your Shadow Personality is also broadening the dimensions of your unique identity.
Those who’ve integrated and explored such depth of their character are described as deep, influential and uncommon.
Feeling lost, alone and adrift is a symptom of an unexplored self that largely resides in your most unexplored shadow realm. Go fucking discover it!
Discovering Your Shadow Personality:
The first step to discovering your Shadow Personality is having a strong sense of self-transparency. This is your internal radar.
Self-Transparency is seeing, predicting, and accepting your characteristics and conditions. It is identifying the hidden forces that drive your habits, actions and thoughts. Lastly, it is the investigation as to where these things originate from in the first place.
Keenness to your “internal” is everything. The more boisterous society encourages our personality to become, the harder it is to hear yourself.
100 quotes from 100 different “life coaches” won’t allow you to better understand your emotional toil than the internal silence you share with yourself. Never.
This relentless exposure to “life authoritarians” is made worse with all the half-cooked advice people love to share but fail to practice. For many out there, I doubt the mechanisms behind their achievements are as well understood as what you are reading right now.
Want to explore more about humanity? Read Laws of Human Nature by R. Greene (click here)
The greater access to trivial information gives people the illusion they are informed and thought deeply about their troubles.
The more info we access, the “smarter” we become and less likely we’ll listen to others (and ourselves). We stop learning and cease to ask questions. We solidify our opinions as fact and refuse to alter or question them as we continue.
This phenomenon is called the Adult-Onset Learning Disability—and it plagues us all. It only gets worse the older we become.
Discovering your Shadow Personality isn’t supposed to be comfortable or easy. If it were, we’d all have models drinking wine from our six-packs.
All our potential would be unlocked and we’d be exceptionally gravitating and inspiring. We’d wake up fulfilled and operating at 120% every day for every task.
Languages would be learned in record time and praise would follow us everywhere we went.
Once you humble yourself by finding characteristics of your Shadow Personality are you able to playfully integrate it into your current personality.
This move will be of great service to your future and those you bring into your life.
As you explore the subconscious Shadow, question it.
Ask why you feel such impulses and externalize them. Do so by journaling, making art, or writing a story—not by blowing up at your subordinates and colleagues.
Once you understand this shadow realm more, you can use it to achieve your Olympian Expectations. Learn to respect your Shadow Personality or it will disrespect you and your nearby companions.
Get in the habit of asserting yourself and making gentle opinions rather than overdoing your niceness or politically correctness.
Care less of what others think of you while maintaining your desired reputation. Everyone has ugly values. If someone is using them to block your path or slow your Demigod down, you can tactfully use your newfound shadow understanding to maintain your self-belief.
All of this can be done without offending everyone in the room and still maintain a child-like wonder of the world.
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My Coffeehouse Wager to You:
This is my coffeehouse wager to you:
Learn to seek out your Shadow Personality. Understand it and externalize it in a healthy manner through activities of introspection. Then INTEGRATE IT into your own personality so it serves you to get to your Mt. Olympus faster.
My favorite form of externalizing it is rapid journaling on a keyboard.
Seek out why it exists, what it wants to feel and where it’s trying to go. Respect its wishes and allow its motives to be an asset—a friendly part of you that can both mystify and humble your persona.
When successfully exercised, it will enhance your capabilities and draw more people in to your mission.
Your Concise Conclusion:
In conclusion, you have a Mt. Olympus you’re climbing to.
There’s a determined and even vain part of you who will see the job gets done.
In this determination, your Shadow Personality will emerge and often cause you to behave primally, caustically, and disgracefully. Exploring your Shadow Personality will allow you to utilize this innate part of your character and quell the animosity built up inside. In doing so, you’ll find yourself more expansive, honest, humble, and determined to get to your vision of Mt. Olympus.
Self-transparency and deep self-questioning will get you there without damaging your reputation or standing alone in empty success.
Until next time,
MTK
Reach out on IG (@that.expat.philosophy) because I want to hear from you!
What do you disagree or agree with? What should I write about next?
Mike T. Kelly
Editor of Prosperity
Ex-structural engineer gone expat polyglot. Through his book, speaking events, published writings and online blog, he strives to influence millions to be their best selves while experiencing novelty overseas or at home. His desire for adventure travel is rivaled by his love for motorcycles, airplanes and family. Michael graduated from Gonzaga University with studies in civil engineering and philosophy. For his 29th birthday, he moved to Africa where he is experiencing his next transformative experience.
Shadow Personality FAQ:
What are Shadow Emotions?
Shadow emotions are usually primitive and unreasoning. Such emotions include malice, hate, pity, greed and indifference.
What are some shadow traits?
Shadow traits are much like shadow emotions but some traits are cruelty, indifference, pity, distain, envy, aggression, and distaste for banal things.
What are shadow behaviors?
Shadow behaviors are much like shadow emotions but some consist of cruelty, indifference, pity, distain, envy, aggression, and distaste for banal things. Shadow behavior often lashes out unexpectedly and with cruelty.